Flirty Texts For Her

Flirty Texts For Her – How To Flirt By Text

Right gents, we’re really getting to the serious stuff now. Our Tinder game is strong and we’ve perfected writing the best Tinder openers for all of our new matches but now what? How do we take it to the next level? Writing flirty texts for her, and I mean properly, can mean the difference between her blocking you from every messaging application on her phone and her coming around to act out some of these texts.

This isn’t a stage to be shy either, and just so you know I’m not leading you astray, I’ve enlisted fellow blogger Hannah Gabris to tell you exactly how to flirt over text… and any other messenger app as it happens!

Flirty Texts For Her

How To Flirt With A Girl Over Text

While our parents may complain that phones have killed the art of communication, I choose to look at it this way; we can’t change progress so let’s use our tech to enhance our communication. There are certain things that can be done over text that keep things interesting and make the prospect of seeing the other person even more enticing. Once you’ve been out once or twice and feel a connection, it’s time to flirt with a girl over text — she’ll love it, believe me!

Why Should I Flirt With A Girl Over Text?

No matter what your stance on technology one thing is undeniable; our phones have given us an expectation of instant access. Google even has a name for it: The Zero Moment of Truth. Decisions are made on the fly and I gotta tell you, if you’re on my mind I’m more likely to go out with you another time and not get tempted to see what else is out there.

Also, men who flirt over text the right way offer something I like in a guy — creativity. It shows that you’re not just going through the standard motions and waiting until the third date to spring some flirtation on me. You’re showing that you’re into me in little ways in between and women love that. Just like I love creative Tinder openers, I love a good flirty text.

Ways To Flirt Over Text

It’s not all that difficult to flirt over text once you learn a few different ways. Once you start experimenting with what works for you and your girl you’ll find your own rhythm and method that matches your personal style, which brings me to #1.

Be Yourself

Flirting isn’t about being someone else — it’s about expressing a desire to get to know each other better. So don’t use lines you would never use in person and don’t make promises you can’t keep. Read: Don’t send me something raunchy and get me excited and then deny me when I see you because you’re not ready or comfortable. Instead, use your distinct voice, sense of humor, wit, and charm to remind me why I’m into you in the first place.

Don’t Text Just To Text

You know who texts me “hi” and “what’s up?”, the annoying girlfriend I always have an excuse not to go out with. It’s true. Please don’t text me and let me get excited seeing your name in the notification (or whatever clever nickname I’ve put you under… those mean a lot!) only to have it be dull. Chances are if you’re texting me during the day I’m working and not interested in a mundane conversation.

Make sure you have a reason for texting me — flirting is a reason but please just hop to it rather than opening with this eye-roller. The best one yet? “I figure you’re thinking about me so we might as well text.” It’s brazen but also cute. Like a good movie or novel, your text should drop me into the action.

The Bait and Switch

Use faux misunderstanding to gauge how hot she is for you (or get her to start getting hot) by sending something like, “I had the dirtiest dream about you last night.” And when she responds with “Oh, tell me every juicy detail.” come back with how she fell in the mud or you spilled a drink on her. You’ll be able to get a sense of whether or not she’s ready to playback and also use it later on in person when it’s time to initiate something carnal.

“Hey baby, let’s act out our dirty dreams.” Okay, maybe not, but hopefully you get the idea! You can also use this in a lower key way by saying something like, “I can’t stop thinking about you.” and then saying something like how that dinner/dessert/cocktail she had the other night just looked so delicious.

Short And Sweet

While it’s fun to flirt with a girl over text (and she loves being flirted with over text) don’t try to draw it out… these types of messages have a natural ending point and it’s usually awkward. So before you get to, “Okay, I have a meeting.” or she says, “Seriously, though, can you believe there was a (insert natural disaster) in (insert state/region/country)?” find a catchy way to shut it down and move on.

Jokes about needing to get your beauty sleep or how you’re going to go to bed so you can see her in your dreams (followed with an emoji that includes an eye roll so she knows you’re not suddenly going totally romantic) is a good way. I had a booty call who would always end with, “I gotta go. Behave.” and for some reason, I loved that. Another is to tell her not to get into too much trouble without you.

Keep It Interesting

Guys always ask me why text conversations that start hot end up fizzling and when I look at their texts it’s often due to these three things; his responses were unintentional shutdowns, he took it past its natural end, and he missed a cue.

Here’s how to understand and avoid these:


If you’re flirting with her and she asks you a question, don’t just give a yes or no. So, you say you wish you could make out with her right now instead of sitting in a meeting going over quarterly sales revenue. She says, “What would you do to me?” and you respond with, “Make out.” or “That thing you like.” or “Make you hot.” No! Answer her question.

If you know something that gets her hot because you’ve already started exploring her body you’d better remind her of it. Nothing is worse than getting flirty back with a guy and having him shut it down by leaving no room for play. It’s embarrassing. After answering, though, move to #4 about how you’ll see her later to make it a reality.


You’re flirting over text and it gets too drawn out. And then it gets awkward. And then you’re talking about the weather. And suddenly she stops responding as much. She may feel like you’re all words and no action or that you’re too eager. Quit while you’re ahead and keep her on her toes.


Sometimes the best-laid plans go to waste. Case and point: you’re flirting over text and think she’s game but she’s not into it and lets you know. Most women are not going to shut down a relationship or potential relationship over this but do her a favor and acknowledge that you misstepped. Chances are you’ll get a, “No worries.” and move on without a hitch.

The worst things you can do? Stop texting immediately or respond with, “You’re taking this too seriously.” Especially when your texts are getting hotter it’s important to listen to her responses and stick within her comfort zone — remember, it could be something as simple as she doesn’t want a dirty text to show up on her lock screen for others to see.


Use Her Name. I don’t know why but I LOVE it when a guy uses my name. It shows that I’m exactly what’s on his mind. It shows that he is tuned into me 100% for those few seconds and I love it. Especially when it’s flirty. Gets me every time.


Compliment Her. If you’re texting to flirt after a pretty good date, toss a compliment her way. Women find this endearing and flirtatious and yes, we love that you noticed something about our appearance. So if she was wearing a particularly cool piece of jewelry or maybe had her hair different and you didn’t mention it the night before text her that you can’t believe you didn’t tell her how much you liked her hair up, or how unique her necklace was. Make sure you are remembering which girl wore what if you’re currently playing the field or you’ll be down one teammate.

When you flirt with a girl over text you want to make sure that it’s welcome, that you are authentic and that you keep it going to just before it crests the hill. Get her revved up and allow her to rev back so that she can feel like she’s getting you excited, too. Keeping the above in mind you have a good starting point to test it out and see what works (and doesn’t) for you. And because I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t share, here are some ultimate no-no’s when you flirt with a girl over text.

What Not To Do When Flirting Over Text

The Dick Pic

Just don’t do it. For so many reasons. I have an iPhone and when someone texts me a picture it shows up in the preview. I don’t want that popping up when I’m having lunch with a friend or coworker. It’s really awkward to have to ask a guy, especially one you’re into, not to send them. Also, imagine real life: would you randomly pull your dick out in front of her? Probably not.

The Constant Texter

While I cannot STAND guys who are all, “I can’t text her for a week after we made out at that party!” I’m also equally annoyed by guys who over text. Flirting is best done here and there — when you do it constantly I start to feel like you’re either too horny for your own good or that you don’t know how to do anything else.


Okay, yes, I blog about my dating life and I kiss and tell. But here’s the deal: my readers are never going to meet any of these guys. There is NOTHING more embarrassing than meeting your friends and having them reference something we exchanged during flirty texts. They can know that I won the 5th-grade spelling bee or that my grandmother knits me a green sweater every year for my birthday but they shouldn’t know that I gave you a rundown on the state of my panties after thinking of you. That can be a real deal-breaker.

Alrighty, boys… what’s your fav way to flirt with a girl over text? What do you like to get when it comes to racy SMS? And, please share with us the horrible examples of women attempting to flirt over text — we can all learn from examples. Let’s chat in the comments or on social media!

You can read all about Hannah’s dating adventures over on her blog and also don’t forget to follow us both on Twitter @FrequentDater and@hannah_gabris.

I hope you feel like you’ve learned how to flirt with a girl over text, if you have success stories (or failures!) that you’d like to share then please drop them in the comments below.

Happy Flirting,

The Frequent Dater

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