Tinder Mistakes To Avoid & What To Do Instead!
Before I start I just wanted to say a quick sorry to my frequent readers, it’s been a while since I’ve published anything! I’m making a conscious effort to write more often in June I promise!
Today’s post is from Hannah Gabris (@hannah_gabris) who I met over on Twitter (if you’re not on Twitter yet then you really are missing out on some fantastic networking opportunities!). Hannah has her own blog over at hannahgabris.net where she shares her own experiences in the world of dating, you should really go and check it out after reading this:
Men Pay Attention! Here Are The Tinder Mistakes That’ll Crush Your Chances
I’m on Tinder. A lot. I’m a single girl in NYC, so it’s my go-to way to date. It’s easy to open, browse, swipe, chat and have a date set up in a matter of minutes. While everyone uses Tinder in their own way, from looking to add a third to their couple to looking for love, there are some things you definitely need to quit doing on Tinder because it’s ruining your chances with lots of girls. Like me!
The Silent Brooding Type Doesn’t Translate
Tinder gives you room for text. Please use it. Please? Just a teeny bit? When there is nothing there I have ZILCH to go on if we match. I also wonder just what you’re looking for if all I see is a pic. And often will avoid swiping through them thanks to learning, quickly, that there is a direct correlation between dick pics and zero text.
While I understand that this text is equivalent to the hated “About Me” section of job interviews and dating sites of long ago, you gotta give a girl something to go on.
How To Fill That Section
I don’t need much, men, but I need something. And I don’t have to be able to scroll so you don’t have to write a novel. Or even a paragraph. Need ideas? Here you go:
Don’t be boring. Please don’t list your name, and height, and tell me that you’re a nice guy looking for a nice girl. Instead, tell me something interesting about yourself, or ask me a question. Tell a cute joke or find a way to describe things about you that are going to interest me: like your political slant, a crazy talent, or that you won the fifth-grade spelling bee. I need to see that you can write and that you can think of something to pull me in.
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words…
… and one of the Tinder mistakes girls often gripe about are the pictures, or lack thereof, on the Tinder profiles of potential dates.
From having only one picture where we can’t get a good idea of what you look like to only having shots of you with your eight closest friends, or seven pictures of your dog the list of tinder mistakes is long. But it makes sense — how do you best represent yourself in a few pictures?
Make Your Pictures Stand Out With These Tricks
Okay, there are a few things that can help you pick the absolute best pictures but the first is the most important. You must have two clear shots: one of your face and one of your full self. You should want girls to do this, too. It just gives everyone a sense of what you look like. Those pictures should also be from within the last 3 years or more recently if your appearance has changed significantly. Here are some other tips to get your pictures just right:
1) If you have a photo of you and a friend, make sure he’s not way more attractive than you. Why? Because YOU are the star of the show.
2) Limit pics of you and your dog to one shot. It can be you and Fido playing, hiking, or just posing next to each other. But just one.
3) Act your age. If you are 35 and looking for more than a hookup, a picture of you wasted is not going to attract women in the 30-35 range who are looking to meet someone. Speaking of hooking up…
4) It’s a Free Country. Be mindful that while you are free to post whatever you want, there are things that will make a woman question your choices. Guns, even for those who support gun rights, are something that causes concern. What is a person with guns trying to communicate on a dating profile?
Have you read my review of “Love Me Tinder” yet? It’s a fab new book by Nicola May – read the review right here.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
I’m 26 and don’t mind being single but if I met the right guy I’d be cool with a relationship. It says this on my Tinder profile and I greatly appreciate guys who do the same. There is nothing weirder than having a decent exchange and then being asked to meet up at an address at 11 pm on a Wednesday night. There is a time and place for booty calls, but if that is what you’re looking for, and especially all you’re looking for, put it up there.
An Example Of What Not To Do
A girlfriend of mine is also single and on Tinder. She was matched with a guy, chatted, and ended up meeting him. They met for a drink that turned into dinner. There was no good night kiss but he asked if she would want to grab dinner that weekend. That also went well (but again no physical contact) so he asked if for their third date he could cook her dinner at his place. She agreed and assumed they were going to get physical for dessert. When she arrived she noticed that there were a lot of wedding pictures. Strange as it sounds, she hoped he was widowed. He said, and believe me when I tell you I can’t make this stuff up, “So, my wife and I are in an open relationship and the deal we have is that if we are going to get physical with someone the other person gets to watch. She’s upstairs, so if you’re interested at any point let me know and I will go get her.”
If you are married or are on Tinder to find a third that’s your business. But it should also be the business of your dates who might very well be getting their hopes up. In this day and age, there are plenty of people who are up for anything — and you’re likely to have more luck if you just put it out there.
What cardinal rules are you committing on your Tinder profile that you’ll change due to this article? What’s the stuff you wish people would put, or keep off, their profiles? And have you had a crazy experience? Let’s chat in the comments or on social media!
And that’s all folks, thank you Hannah for a great article!
The Frequent Dater