Is it OK to kiss on the first date? 5 Ways To Know!
First dates are awkward enough without the pressure of a first kiss. As a guy, you want to make sure your date knows you like them and that you’d had a good time. As a woman, you might not appreciate the advance so early on in your relationship. Approaching the first kiss can be a minefield but I’m here to give some pointers and help you know is it OK to kiss on the first date!
You’re on your first date and things are presumably going pretty well. Things are starting to draw to a close and now you’re worried about the etiquette of a first date kiss…
There are no rules against it that’s for sure but there are a few things to consider before leaning in to give you the best chance of landing that snog.
Body Language
During your time together, both you and your date will have been giving off body language that may suggest that a first date kiss is on the cards. Look out for cues from her, has she been playfully touching you during your date? This can be anything from placing her hand on your leg or arm whilst you’re laughing together, to more obvious signs like stroking your arms or even holding your hand.
Does she spend time looking at your lips as you’re talking? This is a good sign that she may be receptive to that first kiss!
Have You Both Been Flirty?
Flirting with the opposite sex is often a preamble to something more. If you’ve been going back and forth all day/evening making each other laugh and complimenting one another then it may feel like a kiss is the next logical step.
2-way flirting doesn’t usually happen if both sides aren’t quite into each other. If you’ve been charming and she’s been receptive then this is another good sign that a kiss would be welcomed at the end of the date.
What’s Your Gut Feel?
Deep down you’ll know whether things have gone well enough to end with your first kiss. You’ll know this from both the body language and flirting but also from talking to her to find out what kind of a dater she is. If she’s someone that’s very traditional and quite reserved then I’d hope that you’ve picked up on that before making your move. Be respectful if she’s already told you that kissing on the first date is an absolute no-no!
Find Out If You Have Chemistry
One reason to attempt to kiss on your first date is to see if there’s a spark or connection. As humans, we value physical touch and intimacy, and a sure-fire way to know if you’re into someone is through that first kiss. That’s not to say that if the kiss doesn’t make you feel funny inside that it’s all doom-and-gloom, not at all. It may be an indication though and one of many things you can use later on to decide whether this one is the one for you.
Kissing also has its benefits, it can stimulate the brain and release endorphins (when kissing the right person), which makes you feel pretty darn good!
Consent
Asking for consent for a kiss might seem strange but it’s all in the approach. It’s important to be respectful at all times and that includes making certain that your date does want that kiss. She’ll appreciate that you’re taking her feelings into consideration and you’ll know for sure that she’s as ready as you are for what’s about to come.
I’d approach it like this…
Whilst talking at the end of the date, perhaps once you’ve walked her home or to her car, turn towards her and look directly in her eyes and simply say “I’d really like to kiss you”, then pause for a second or two before slowly moving your lips towards hers for the kiss.
This gives her advance warning of the upcoming kiss and therefore time to politely decline or move away – all without ruining a nice romantic moment.
Less Is Sometimes More
So you’ve decided to lean in for that kiss… good on you! Now don’t go in too keen! Less is almost certainly more when kissing someone for the first time. You want to leave them satisfied with a good kiss but also leave them wanting more. Although no guarantee, the desire for more might just get you to date number two!
Take control of the kiss initially and then be guided by her. A good kiss should last around 10 seconds and should be passionate and with feeling. Don’t come away thinking you should have done better, give her your best work and she’ll (hopefully) want that next date.
Follow Up!
It’s important to know that the date isn’t over until you’ve made it home and sent the follow-up text. Let your date know you’re home safe and thank her for her company and for a lovely kiss. Feel free to continue the flirting over text if she seems receptive and the effects of the kiss will last far longer than the 10 seconds it took to deliver.
Great work if you managed that first kiss, if not, don’t worry! It’s actually pretty common to wait for the second or even third date to get that kiss. Don’t be disheartened and keep having fun – that’s what it’s all about!
Happy Dating,
The Frequent Dater
