Why Pick Up Lines Don’t Work & What To Do Instead
Before I start this article I thought I should explain why I have a lot of pick up lines on my site. They are there purely for the humor.
If you’re interested you can find them by clicking any of the links below.
Some people think pick up lines are fun and some people do like to use them, whether serious or just for a laugh so I thought I’d collate a list for them to refer to. I’m not a user of them myself, unless I’m bored on Tinder!
Anyway, moving on…
Memorizing cheesy pick up lines to attract women is a colossal waste of time and effort. Because they just don’t work, there’s no way you will actually snag a great woman and they often result in more harm than good.
If you are not happy with your love life, there are two roads you can go down: you can create a facade, learn a few tricks, and try to fool women into thinking you’re something you’re not, or you can actually learn to become the confident, manly stud you pretend to be when you throw around cheesy pick up lines.
The Problem With The Pick Up Line Mindset
One of the biggest problems with memorizing and repeating pick up lines is the attitude and mindset that naturally goes along with it. As soon as a guy starts searching for a pick up line, he’s essentially telling himself “I need a clever line to get women to like me because I’m not good enough as I am.” If a guy thinks he’s not good enough for a certain woman, it means he’ll always be searching for the right thing to say to keep her interested, meaning meeting and attracting women will always be an uphill battle.
On the other hand, women want a man with integrity, a guy who lives by the words that come out of his mouth. By using pickup lines and saying things you don’t mean in order to get a woman’s attention, this is actually a great way to do the exact opposite.
Why Pick Up Lines Fail
Even if you managed to find the best pick up line in the world, it wouldn’t exactly work. All pick up lines do, if they work at all, is create a temporary spark of attraction. This small spark will fade, and if you have nothing else interesting to say, which you probably don’t if you felt the need to use the pick up line in the first place, her attraction will quickly dissipate.
Let’s say you got a date once or twice or maybe got laid from using a pick up line, let’s even say you’ve become what you consider to be a pick up line master, it still won’t get you far. Why? Because after that you can’t hide behind memorized words any longer and the real you will come out. And what do you think would happen once she realizes you’re not the clever witty man she thought you were?
So, in the long run, the cheesy and superficial pick up line game will get you just that: cheesy and superficial women. If you want to have a proper relationship with a mature woman, you have to get to know each other on a real level, no games.
What Actually Matters When Approaching Women
Maybe you have confidence issues or can’t comfortably talk to attractive women. Or perhaps you just don’t have the courage to make the first move. Either way, your “game” has let you down, so instead you generate an illusion of confidence by memorizing lines to get women. Believe it or not, it is a lot easier to do just that than take a good, hard look within at the man you are and change that.
Not only does trying to fake it stem from a very negative mindset, if men would only instead change their image of themselves by simply being themselves and remaining confident in who they are, they would see much better results with the ladies.
It’s all a matter of attitude. If you think you’re someone that’s bad at talking to women, you will begin to believe you are, and suddenly that will be the only outcome you seem to encounter. Instead, if you just relax and be yourself without tricks, women will take notice.
By being a genuine guy from the start, she can actually get to know the real you, which is exactly what you need to make a relationship last longer than one fun night. When it comes to real attraction, the more of a real man you are, the more you will attract a real woman. By using immature tactics, in the best case, you will end up with an immature girl. Tricks will only get you tricks; it’s that simple.
Committing to constant improvement and personal development will instead be what will make you a ladies’ man. Even those confident men you see always killing it when it comes to women had to start out somewhere, and they definitely had their fair share of nerves at first as well. Working at our flaws and trying harder to improve is a step that is already attractive in itself.
You can try maintaining confident, high-value body language by keeping your head up, spine straight, shoulders back, and a smile on your face. Body language and sub-communications can really go a long way when it comes to attracting women.
To further show confidence with your body language, try keeping your body language open. For example, avoid folding your arms across your chest, as that is a more closed off, defensive posture. Try to remain loose, let your arms freely swing by your side, and just have a good time.
Spend time doing the things you enjoy doing. It will not only make you feel overall more relaxed and happy, you will meet some amazing new people who can enrich your life, even women. Join a class, learn a new hobby, eat well, and exercise. Live a vibrant life that you love, a life that any woman you may end up with would be happy to be a part of, without memorizing a cheesy line.
Rather than trying to knock her socks off with a line, only to have that attraction quickly fade, focus on creating a fun and enjoyable conversation (which is even better if you meet due to a common hobby or class). Her interest will gradually build and last a lot longer than the time it would take for any pick up line to actually work.
Go on, give it a real shot.
Happy Dating,
The Frequent Dater
